such is life

Tonight as I opened my copy of "A Christmas Story," I realized that the closing mechanism is near complete failure to the point of falling off. I can only assume it is from overuse. Aside from being one of the best movies of all time, it is one of two "Christmas" movies I watch at any given point throughout the year ("Eddie, I couldn't be any more surprised if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet"). For some strange reason, it is very comforting to me to watch this movie in the middle of the summer (both of them actually).

I've made two posts in the past week (after taking more than MONTHS off) and your response has been overwhelming. I've had so many e-mails and comments (I only published one as the rest were kind of personal), and each one is very meaningful.

I must admit that I wrote again simply to get things off of my chest and I didn't really think you guys still checked this. It's flattering and it makes me sad to think I have done such a horrible job of keeping up with each of you.

A few updates: 1) Friday night, I will graduate from Campbell University with my Masters Degree in Business Administration (with concentrations in management and finance), 2) I still have the same job, but that's apt to change at any moment, and 3) I'm still single (thankfully).

I fear that I will fall into the trap of writing this so that it will be "read." While that is a good thing, I've spent my entire life shielding my soul from others using humor and sarcasm, and I need to be as open as possible. It's cathartic for me to get things off of my chest in this forum, and I need to keep that openness and honesty with myself . . . also with each of you.

J-Kidd is flying in from Pittsburgh on Friday, and Shaw was in this past weekend. That's all the Christmas presents I could ever ask for. Seeing these guys has been like water for a thirsty soul. It was wonderful to see Shaw and I can't wait to see Kidd. Truly.

I hate people who always insist on using "internet abbreviations." U kno the p33ps i'm talkin 'bout rit3? I felt the need to get that off my chest. If you're over 18, please stop typing like this and get a lif3, "I triple-dog-dare-ya!"

I went to church yesterday for the first time in months. MONTHS. I went to LIFE: The Changing Church. They meet in Crossroads 20 movie theater in Cary. The music was . . . well pretty ok. The guy who led worship was good. I know I'm really hard on musicians, and I should try to be a little more open, but man . . . when you're doing it for GOD, is it too much to ask that you practice?

The sermon was about being alone and it struck a lot of chords deep in my soul. One of the passages of scripture was,
"We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all."
I just sat there in awe. I have gone astray, and I need to get back.

"The reason why I stand/the answer lies in You/You hung to make me strong/though my praise was few/when I fall I bring Your name down/but I have found in You/a hear that bleeds forgiveness/replacing all these thoughts of painful memories/but I know You're response will always be/'I'll take you back'/'always'/'even when your fight is over'/'even when the pain is coming through'/'i'll take you back'

I can only speak with a grateful heart/as I'm pierced by the gift of Your love/I will always bring an offering/I can never thank You enough/You take me back/always."

I need this . . .

"You are my supply/my breath of life/still more awesome than I know/You are my reward/worth living for/still more than awesome than I know/All of You is more than enough for all of me/for every thirst and every need/You satisfy me/with Your love/all I have in You is more than enough."

I have to get back to basics. I simply must. If you pray for me, let that be your prayer. Please.

"I can't feel You like others around me/I don't feel like kneeling or closing my eyes/is there something wrong with my heart that I can't see?/Or do You feel love still when nobody cries?/So I'll praise You if I never feel You/and I'll love You 'cause I know You're there/and if You should choose/I'm sure I'll feel it/but feeling good is never the reason I cared./Father I praise You/because You are/Jesus I love You/because You are/Spirit I worship You/because You are/and if no one can see that Your love's moving me/I'll worship you still and forever will be/because You are."

"I keep singing skyward, it just never rains."

I miss you guys and gals. I love you all, and I'm thankful for your love for me.

because, He is,

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