The New Year

"So this is the new year 
and I don't feel any different 
the clanking of crystal 
explosions off in the distance 
in the distance... 
so this is the new year 
and I have no resolution 
it's self-assigned penance? 
for problems with easy solutions 
so everybody put your best suit or dress on 
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once 
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn 
as thirty dialogues bleed into one 
I wish the world was flat like the old days 
so I could travel just by folding the map 
no more airplanes or speed-trains or freeways 
there'd be no distance that could hold us back 
so this is the new year?"

So this is the new year?

For those of you I have been in close contact with over the past few weeks (and sinc my last post especially, I can not than you enough for your patience, for your ears, and in many cases, your shoulders as I cried on them. I feel as though I have been doing a good amount of that lately. I've been crying for me and crying for she.

Does anyone really understand where I am? I'm not entirely sure that I do. I'm quite positive I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm quite positive I'm going to be a wreck of humanity in less than 8 months. I'm quite positive I expect that, and I'm quite positive I'm more than exactly right.

I thoroughly enjoy doing this to myself. I suppose I would have to do this the way that I do.

I once said that knowing the ending didn't destroy a story for me. The means have always been what's important to me. Clearly this is the case now, because I know how this is going to end. Third time's not so much a charm.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

and I'm out

Ω